Yeah. I woke up naked in his bed this morning and remember saying "Get a condom cuz I can't afford an abortion right now" last night. He didn't run. He's a keeper
Bt dubs, I still have cuts on my arm from when you attacked me with a dildo on Saturday night.
he keeps calling me but I'm too scared to answer... Not sure what he's gonna yell at me for: barging into his room while he was with another girl, filling her shoes with dog food and water, or hiding his keys in the garbage disposal.....
Should study in library more often, procrasturbating is less of an option.
Gentleman, we have a new medal category - number of women per day in apartment WITHOUT FURNITURE
My face smells like vagina and Im on my way to court. Fuck.
i had to take off my light up shamrock necklaces, my professor was getting suspicious.
Smoked Hookah in the playhouse last night. Childhood was so fun.
i wasnt laughing because you were puking, i was laughing because three yards away there was a couple seriously getting it on
continuing my moment killer tradition in the best possible way
I've found myself wondering why I WASN'T naked before, but I generally always know why I am naked. Except now. WHY THE FUCK ARE WE ALL NAKED
I think we might have a drinking problem when the ASU kids called us crazy
No one made them take a shot with us at the 12 hour mark. That's their bad
I want to show up to tomorrow's study group looking like I got hit by a train. A train made of dicks.
He sent me a flaccid dick pic from the bathroom at the bar and he said I'm sorry it's not all hard and good looking. Props to him - I did ask for a pic.
One a scale of one to hella drunk, how gracefully can I make it down those stairs
How do you say "put it in me" in Spanish... I'm dealing with language barriers here.
Randomize
