You know, sometimes I seriously doubt your commitment to sparkle motion.
I'm going to go hang out on a giant wooden pirate ship for 5 days.
All I remember from last night is puking up a box of cheeze-its and the building catching on fire.
She is sleeping in a dress because she's too drunk to put "real clothes" on
she peed. on the sidewalk. it is 2 pm. Help.
hot doctor. gonna get him to touch my tits. 'think i felt a lump' excuse in 3-2-1...
I am not apologizing for rubbing my balls on your leg...that is a risk you take when you come out to the bar with me
I can now tell my grandchildren Central Park has really great spots for quickies...
Hey we need to step our game up. Dad has us beat; he stole a vending machine once.
We went to the casino to try to earn enough money to go to new Orleans comfortably. I'm already drunk. This is a horribly immoral start to summer.
He took my Spanx off and still fucked me twice. I call that success.
I think I'm gunna glue a sign to my head that says "WAKE ME UP BEFORE 7!" And go to sleep and hope a kind passer by wakes me up for my exam .
some kid just came up 2 me bleeding yelling "thats how u riot"
I apologize for there being a shopping cart in the living room. I don't know how why or where i got it.
if wiping your ass w an envelope isnt the definition of hitting "financial rock bottom " then nothing is!
Randomize