All time low... just gave a strip tease to the theme song from Law&Order SVU.
I'm sorry..where i come from learning how to exploit a wealthy middle aged man is a right of passage
Yea dude. I'm gonna be the life of the party. THIS BITCH GETS DRUNK BY HERSELF
But is that really the name you want to scream out during climax?
I'm back in the dating scene now... Since the legality issue calmed down. And my stalking charges were dropped.
We fucked so hard and loud that the everyone at the party downstairs starting chanting his name. Oh I we broke a lamp.
Getting drunk in an Applebee's pray for me
Lord god protect this child
He used one of his curtains as a leash and hand restraints. He wins the creative sex challenge hands down.
I was walking back to the dorm and was made fun of for wearing a coat. I'M SORRY I CARE ABOUT MY WELL BEING.
Where the fuck are you? I just got punched in the nose by a tourist
Oh. So it is a cult
Basically. But a nice cult. They eat muffins and talk about fundraising.
ive started thanking my toys after masturbating. might be time to get some fuck boys
Oh. My. God. It is NOT okay to drink Johnny Walker when there is no Jameson. My skull is eating my brain.
Laying on my driveway in my pajamas in the sun having my severe hangover cigarette, and the daycare house across the street is having playtime in the yard! I believe I'm currently being what's known as a "bad example!"
I just walked in on her masturbating to a social anxiety video...
Randomize
