My mom was talking about how protein is essential to strong bones and then I told her, I'll give you protein.
How unfortunate for your Mom.
So he said if we had sex he'd take me to Build A Bear. My virginity is so worth a trip to build a bear.
You're 20.
IT'S BUILD A BEAR!
I returned the dress. When they asked for the reason for return I said, 'I don't deserve to wear white'.
The one from last night got me a whole floor of Eskimo Brothers. There was a celebration of high fiving as I left
Our date was amazing and I would like to reward you with a blow job under your desk.
I can pencil you in at 3:30
Listen to my proposal.... I feed you crackers while I fuck you ever so gently.
I just caught myself watching and Irish step dance documentary in my underwear drinking nyquil through a straw at 2 in the afternoon. today's off to a good start.
I think you were giving a sex seminar on your kitchen table last night.
He stole all of his parent's vodka WHILE they were in the room, and then opened the window and snuck out. I was watching from my truck
You're the second person to offer to fuck me in the bathroom at work. Idk whether I should feel honored, or if cvs is just a turn on.
I've sold more douches working here than one man should sell in a lifetime
Jesus fuck that was emotional whiplash
you said "it's karaoke night" and tried to use my dick as a microphone
My dreams last night were filled with sex and quidditch.
We’re leaving where are you
Hold on Toxic just started playing
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