there should be a rule against ugly people hooking up.
yeah...but then what would the ugly people do? hook up with pretty people? yeahhh..don't see that happening in the near future. plus i'm not okay with that.
just walked out of chelsea's house and saw cameron slapping his dick against her car. cant even make this shit up if i tried.
hey i know this is weird but does alcohol affect pregnancy tests?
It smells like ranch
Must be all the white people
Blowjobs in the shower are a lot like blowjobs not in the shower. Awesome.
You're the only person I know who would say "we'll play it by ear" referring to a threesome
The intern claims someone glued plastic eyeballs to his penis last night. He going to show everyone in the conference room at 3pm. There is a $5 cover charge.
What's sign language for "you may not be the father?" Kinda important right now.
OH MY GOD I JUST WANT TO GO HOME AND FART ALL NIGHT.
And now we should drink to that moment where you realize you didn't exactly think things through.
She bought my penis dinner and beer last night. Her words
The crooked penis I maybe could have looked past...but no foreplay? Deal breaker.
My husband was abducted by a group of disco dancers in the parde and danced off down the street. If you see him, tell him to Hustle on home and clean the cat box. #MardiGras
Let it be known that on this day, the 26th of October, in the year 2016, I successfully put both of his balls in my mouth at once.
Had to admit my broken elbow was caused by vodka, not hockey
Randomize
