conclusion of the day: americans need to get on tredmills, people need to learn how to flush toliets and learn how to pee in then instead of on them, and waiters shouldnt tell their life stories to customers.
i've already watched her fall off the steps, walk up on our porch and try to dance with the dog, and stumble across the street to stand outside the neighbors window...is it taking it too far to watch this rando girl and some guy have sex behind our parking lot now?
3 girls crying in the bathroom at the bar. Its like a Christmas song
It's like a challenge who can be the biggest embarrassment to the family. I win 80% of the time.
Uhh... I think I meant "Be proud, I'm taking shots before my public speaking test." "Coffee and vodka is not good" and "Also, I'm giving blood drunk."
Please tell me you aren't concussed from dancing on the stripper pole
him and the cab driver we buy e from got into a fist fight, about which show is better, futurama or family guy.
I masterbated to the rocky theme song. I'm pretty sure that just beat any sex experience I've ever had.
That is cause you are some weird type of mutant that lives off of Alcohol.
You're the second person to offer to fuck me in the bathroom at work. Idk whether I should feel honored, or if cvs is just a turn on.
I'm in the line at Chipotle thinking: "What combo will best prepare my body for the open bar I'm going to subject it to tonight?"
2:34, make a wish! I wish I wasn't on acid at Planned Parenthood. What's yours?
Alcohol and IMDB don't always mix with 100% accuracy
But if you do poop yourself let me know. I want that as a tagline. "So funny she'll make you shit yourself."
I was eating pickles straight from a jar, contemplating doing something productive. What did I miss?
Randomize
