her vagine was all disorganized.
his tattoo said carpe diem which i thought was ironic considering his epilepsy
ATMs should seriously have built in breathalysers, I would save so much money.
The lid of our salsa is promoting a contest that ended in July '09
at one point he was caressing me in the kitchen asking me my name over and over again and then asking what my favorite continent was
Chapter 6 - how to lose your underwear in chicago
She's going to get preggers, drop out of school, and end up working at mcdonalds. Great for our mcdoubles habit but bad for her future.
How bad is it if you swallow a really small piece of glass? Be optimistic if possible I'm anxious about it.
I got drunk enough that when camel suggested jumping off the pier, I thought it was a fantastic plan. Also my blood hurts.
I can measure my amount of vomit in solo cups.
Pre-chapter meeting quote: "Why is there a bun literally taped to the shelf? That doesn't even make sense when you're drunk, who does that?"
I want morning sex. We can incorporate maple syrup into it somehow, it'll be fun
What do you bring to an "I'm getting divorced party?"
.......Shattered dreams and tequila?
My hook-up from last week somehow found me at the club, saw the girl I was trying to fuck, kissed me right in front of her, and walked off.
My nipples are YOUNG and they need TWISTING
Randomize
