it was the worst sex ever in the history of sex. i mean ever. and he thought he was great. actually told me he was the best id ever had...what was i supposed to say? lol...i've had better times by myself. seriously.
I need some transition time from spring break.. can we day drink between classes this week?
She was perfectly content just sitting in the middle of everyone blowing bubbles in the air.
Goldfish can't live in a bowl filled with tequila, lesson learned.
Just found out the guy that gave me herpes died. now everytime I get a flare up, it'll be like he's coming back to say hello
you know I love you but I need to see your friends tits
I just remember being in the bathroom alone cussing out the bunny
I want to get so drunk, you will need subtitles to understand me. Rough week.
I got shot at last night. Lesson about married chicks: learned.
I'm pricing out a roll of that wax butcher paper. We fuck too messy and I can't afford to wash them every afternoon.
I was using my Beauty and the Beast blanket as a makeshift skirt because no pants
He offered to take me to my appointment after breakfast then kind of just sat there and watched me get a papsmier. Most awkward first date ever.
I told you I missed you and you said you missed me as much as you miss a urinary tract infection. I get it. You're still mad.
Let's not share with anyone else in the apartment of how we simultaneously peed in the kitchen sink last night.....
I think you'll appreciate my way of waking up today: Under my cubicle, boxed in by boxes of printer paper, and hung over. I don't even know how the fuck I got in here in the middle of the night. I went to my car and fell back asleep. I'm now 2 1/2 hours late.
Randomize
