"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
She's holding my hand. I'm going to kill myself.
Maybe she got knocked up by accident. I still refuse to believe that anyone actually INTENTIONALLY gets pregnant.
They ran out of vodka so we started doing Body Doritos.
im never drinking wine from a person in a wet suit and goggles ever again.
what whaaaat?! I BET YOU WIN IN THE TEETH DEPARTMENT.
Rehydrating your liver back to life is never a good idea.
Dad says your scarf isnt fooling anyone and u look like a douchebag, its literally the perfect time to tell him your gay
Hey ER girl, its the EMT you beat at blowjobs shots last night.
That is the scariest sentence I have ever read.
shes making a cheerios necklace using dental floss 'just in case' she gets the munchies later
I'm on the bus, watching a girl shush her balloons.
Han Solo would be ashamed of me.
He was talking up his golf swing like other guys talk up their dick. Is this adult dating or just another flavour of douchery?
Whatcha doing tonight? Reply TURNUP if you are drinking, or STOP to cancel messages
Just got a 15 minute lecture from a drag queen about how bisexuality doesn't exist. Cher would be so disappointed in her.
Randomize
