I just got really nervous and swallowed all of my birth control
rhymes with "ouble enetration"
I can't lisssten to Lou Holtzsss ssspeak anymore
No jewlry, no bra, and no pen. I couldnt be more prepared for a friday morning class.
Just found out my mom tried to sue the birth control company when she got pregnant with me...love you too mom.
He literally just walked in some random persons house and walked right to they're pantry. Then five minutes later he walks out with pop-tarts, mac and cheese, and captain morgan. We need to chill with this kid more often.
Fuck it dude, we gotta bounce before she starts talking about her steve irwin conspiracy
She gave me head while using a laptop on my stomach to go online. I've never seen a better feat of multitasking.
Dude I've kinda accepted I may leave Nola with the clap.
Well you just missed the ten chi o pledges singing la bamba at our doorstep.
don't trust your eyes. just sniff them. if they smell like axe, they are broke, move on to the next.
He may only be 25% black, but after that sexual experience I am 100% never going back.
I just sent Brandon a snapchat where I wasn't wearing a shirt but had a rooster drawn on my boobs that said "cock block" and laughed for 10 minutes I have problems don't judge me
What good is being a girl if you can't terrorize boys with pregnancy scares??
I'm sorry I tried to stab you. I just really wanted those mozerella sticks.
Randomize
