I just high-fived this girl after she swallowed.
when a girl says 'did you just try to kiss me' you should leave the bar. trust me.
im sure we could have fun without alcohol but i just dont wanna chance it...
I came downstairs to find I had missed the 3some on my kitchen floor but not the pukefest or ER trip after it. This is what happens when the voice of reason is otherwise occupied
He woke up, mumbled "silverware", and went back to sleep
i jsut waqnnna hugg thw crap outa sokme peoplee
Alive.
So much puke
I'm sorry I didn't respond. I had a shit day. However, I just masturbated to Adele's Rolling In the Deep while crying. It was oddly therapeutic.
Everyone keeps telling me I look so healthy and happy today: the power of the penis people!!
Don't forget the part about the bar bathroom stumbles.
Oh damn, you're right. I have to include that. You turned off all the lights with your head. That was impressive.
so we were doing it and I was like umm hi im losing my virginity can you take off your beanie
Bro i pulled the fucking willy wonkas gold ticket of ratchets the other night this chick was a real treat god bless her
He also ordered me a vibrator last week, so the flowers kind of balance it out
I had sex in the back of a hot foreign guy with a lacoste eye patch's car
He said that he had extra crunchy taquitos and wanted to go down on me.. I mean how could I say no?
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