No stds, not pregs, and lost two pounds. I'd call that a successful two years of grad school.
Just seeing my phone say "picture message from: Senor Floppy Cock", i knew it was going to make me smile.
6 other girls and I took an ice cream truck to the bar when we couldn't get a cab. Best birthday ever.
She got a digital picture frame for her birthday. FINALLY - a place for me to sneak all those penis shots I've taken with my iPhone.
but then the words kidney pain and possible testicle shrinkage kept ringing in my head
thats the coolest thing thats happened to my vagina since i dated that guy from portugal.
We've gotten 3 pitchers already by trading for CUPCAKES
If you're not peeing in public bi-monthly, you're not really living.
If I get aids I am starting a lawsuit against snapchat.
I'm toasting stale bread and thinking of you
Is that a sex thing?
i just found a red feather stuck to my penis and i really wanted to send you a picture but too much
I had to google some of the kinky sex shit she was telling me she was into.
If that is not a reason to propose to her then I don't know what is
Let's celebrate our country being screwed by screwing.
Wine. Check.\nDino chicken nuggets. Check.\n#IssaParty
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