Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
if you think for one second that i'm not using my mittens as hand puppets at the bar tonight then u dont know me at all!
there's a guy on campus handing out business cards. you pay him to see if your girlfriend will cheat. the company name is "tying up loose ends"
Important life lesson - flammable and inflammable mean the same thing
i just watched a special on porn, the business isn't doing so good. You may want to wait before you start your career
hey you forgot your wet suit in my room you can come grab it whenever
I just put fruit snacks in my sangria instead of real fruit. Its like freshman year all over again..
We couldn't afford sangria freshman year. We're lucky we had fruit snacks..
I stole something. Which direction out are you guys gonna go
I would like to request a high five for getting laid while wearing crocs and a crab hat.
It's the happiest looking penis I've ever seen. It should have a top hat and a spectacle on and soft shoe across the room with a cane. He's a cheery little feller.
Well, I'm hung over and my penis hurts - two signs of success
It's truly amazing how much porn I can get in while my phones at 1% battery life.
I kept falling all over the place and yelled at the bouncer you can't kick me out I'm from Texas.
Yeah, let's go with that. Fuck that weak moment of complete honesty I just had.
Ran into my FWB on my walk of shame and went back to her place. Even my walk of shames are awesome!!!
Randomize
