She looked like cheddar but tasted like limburger...
I lined up everyone's pillows and I'm playing Evel Knievel when I jerk off later.
I knew my chances of getting laid had increased after she walked into my room and yelled "DICK TIME"
My cousin just asked what abortion is. Happy Holidays.
I'm sorry but when I'm riding in the trunk on the way to mcdonalds at 6 am I just don't want to listen to reba macintire
i just threw up in the porta potty. i am in no condition to be guarding anyone's life rite now.
well, 500 bucks doesn't grown on trees, and i need that bear suit for any chance of vagina access.
I blacked out the second time 3am rolled around. My brain was taking a beating trying to do that math.
Apparently I have a urinal in my bedroom
I just wrote "where Jason is" on the screen. He guessed "hospital" correctly.
I wonder what blackout Alex would think of her?
probably "functioning vagina, must touch"
I feel like i'm walking on a never-ending field of baby sheep.
My sunday was babysitting three big, drunk, crying Swedes. Unless your day involved four or more giant drunk swedes I don't want to hear about it.
too bad I'd hit a car before I'd hit a bush.
Are we talking about jumping from windows or your willingness to fuck a car instead of a woman?
Had to decide between a hook up at the train restroom or getting to work on time #growingup
Randomize
