my boobs are a 3G dead zone. as soon as i take my phone out of my bra, it has a signal again.
i think i have herpe
just one?
The glockenspiel player has some booze though so hopefully the ride won't be that bad
i just wasnt prepared to have the baby of one of two french firemen. threesomes are too confusing.
how do you feel about lunch break shots ?
You picked up her frozen vom puddle and threw it like a frisbee.
Cant wait to drunkenly tell by kids that i banged their aunt katie in a weird threesome
After the Jell-o shots and about 6 shots of lighter fluid brand tequila, it got to the point where breathing was painful. All I could do was pray I didn't fall asleep in the front yard.
If Anthony Weiner can get in trouble for sexting 2 or 3 girls I dunno how politicians will make it in 10 years.
Lol I would vote for a guy that is trying to be a senator that has a viral video of him motorboating a topless chick
Multi-day drunkenness is to binge drinking as black diamonds are to skiing. They're tough and confusing and you hurt afterwards, but you did it and you probably got an alright story along the way.
the amount I squirted last night was insane. Im glad i ignored tlc's advice, i went chasing waterfalls and loved every god damn minute of it.
I don't think my professor is going to remember the Halloween party... or the fact that he made out with a priest.
If you keep giving me that glorious dick ill bake you some cookies
if you want to know how my night is going I just ugly cried in the cheesecake factory
Crying in Target on a display sofa is normal, right? Asking for a friend.
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