That's what you get for not wearing a bra and jumping on a trampoline
bella threw up all over the kitchen floor then looked at me, laughed, and walked away
isn't bella the cat???
that she is
Tampa is so boring. I'm dying. I want lots of cleavage at my funeral. If i cant get laid, i want my friends to. I'm that kind of person
I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
Tuesday night just isn't my ideal coke binge night.
I just smoked my last bit of kief with a grill lighter. This is what crackheads must feel like.
I'm not sure which one did it but one of them fucked the kink out of my neck
I bought you a small gift as a preemptive apology for being a drunken slut tonight.
After 13 tally marks I wrote the number 4,000 and made u sign my arm to prove it.
Whoever put the picture of my dad in the condom box is an asshole
Its not gay if you're best friends and there's less than an inch of dick in the picture. That's where the line is drawn
Ok so last thing I remember was hugging a cop while vomiting
How hard is it to grasp the concept of 'I lost an impromptu saber bout and so I have to make a macaroni map of Soviet Russi, including Kazicstan'!?
Two questions: Did you enjoy your birthday present and how did i wake up with glitter all over my dick?
This is why I love being gay. I could never afford that much birth control.
Randomize
