i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
I returned the dress. When they asked for the reason for return I said, 'I don't deserve to wear white'.
Playing hide and seek with all those cheeseburgers... Not our finest moment.
This guy just told me he wanted to bathe in bong water with me and then tried to lick my nipple through my bra. This could be love.
These bathrooms are miraculous. I'd love to have sex in here. Wow. I've peed 5 times.
if you had such a terrible roommate you would understand. jacking off in his conditioner is just the start.
definitely just forgot to put car in park in front of a police officer and ran into a bush.
Haha I haven't even had my interview yet and I'm already trying to fuck my way to the top. 'Merica.
I mean there are things broken right and left, I woke up surrounded by dog statues, and we had a vodka bubble bath.
It was good. Ended up having a 3 hr make out session with her
What is this high school
There was a lot of catching up to do bro
My old dealer would be proud of the drug cocktail I just took for my back pain.
He asked me who my new boyfriend was and I showed him a picture of my sex toys.
Ugh. It's days like these that make me wish my bad habits would kill me faster
i've hit rock bottom. Eating pringles and playing taylor swift on guitar in my underwear at 11am on a wedensday morning. Sober.
Fuck him. He can bang that skeezer all he wants. Fuck her lawyerness I’m a YouTube star
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