omg a stripper jus od'd on stage.
i kept drunkenly begging people i met to be in my facebook mafia
Springtime is officially here. I just used pool water to fill up the bong
if you hear someone banging on your door early in the morning, it's me with some breakfast burritos, so don't be alarmed
Some are given great drunkenness. Others have great drunkenness thrust upon them, in the form of ice storms.
I'm dressed like a deranged cupcake. Let's get fucked up.
Just saw Santa sitting on a restaurant patio drinking beer and using his free hand to gesture to cars that he's watching them
I'll never get why we had to sing the entire full house theme to the cab driver.... never drinking rum again.
I just smoked a bowl alone and took my Zyrtec here's to a full night.
she fell THROUGH the wall. All in all id have to say that my neighbors where pretty chill about it tho.
I spent half an hour sculpting my pubes into a perfect triangle of really short hair, and the first thing he said when he saw it was "Don't you think you need a shave?"
The night was crazy enough that we did a workout. Instructed by the bouncer at 2am
Remember when we tried to have fun last time..? I got put in a choke hold and you woke up in some ones car.
Guy just walked into the bathroom with only socks on and took a 5second shit. It is taking me longer to type this than for him to shit, wash hands, and leave the bathroom. WTF? Still wondering why he only had socks on.
Also I like oatmeal more than sex.
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