well apparently i yelled MY VAGINA WAS ANNIHILATED and his whole family heard
there should be a rule- if you jizz on it, you wash it
God. I'm so broke I don't even have a dollar to snort my adderall through.
She was wearing a "Got Beer" hat and your bed had necco wafers all over it the next morning. Another story for the grandkids.
HOnestly. That's my one goal for this whole trip. I don't give a shit about souvenirs or sand. I want penis.
I tried douching with a turkey baster. Not the brightest idea.
Suuuuuuper drunk and just sang fuck her gently to the chiminea. I'm in bad shape.
he tried breathing fire using moonshine and a roman candle. would not have believed it unless i actually witnessed it.
One is full of apple juice. One is full of tequila. This is real russian roulette my friend.
I think the fact that I shit my pants, threw away my underwear in a frat bathroom, lost my socks down a drain in the front yard and still got laid... deserves some sort of a victory drink for myself or a blowjob for him since he was such a good sport.
If you have shit your pants within the past two years, please take a seat.
These kids are nice. Shrooms make everything so nice.
He literally said from now on he's always banging chicks with asthma becuas it's such an ego booster
well my apartment and my life are still a disaster but I did clean off my desk so that's gotta count for something...
You told everyone to shut up then told the officer that you are 21 when you drink.
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