Dogs love guiness but it fucks up their kidneys
For using a life jacket as a pillow, I slept pretty good last night...
Just when you think you're never going to have sex again, BOOM you're naked in bed with a guatemalan
i told her she would have to blow me everytime we lost a game of beer pong, she never noticed i purposely hit our opponents in the face every other shot
Bring it all. We will have a potluck of drugs. It will be magical.
i took a picture of my dick. with a stick figure drawn on it. and a paper hat taped to the tip. and i call i the mayor of Dickville
He barged in the room with no shirt on, all fucking ripped with a half keg under one arm. Sara now calls him Bronan the Beerbarian
I told him to just roll me a blunt and put it in a heart shaped box.
I just got three pairs of underwear free and a bathing suit for $20 by modeling them and letting the salesman grope me a bit.
It's great being a young gay man in Chicago!
I just want to give face wipes a shout out for being there when im too tired or high to wash my face at night
I think we've gotten passed awkward... the day I woke up at the palms and ur getting eaten out by the dude who just fucked me on the balcony.
I fell out of the car while it was moving then got puked on then puked and cried about then got back in the car and puked out the window when we started moving again
Omg no hes gotta go down on me. Then itll be like my vagina has kissed the stanley cup.
I was told I was gorgeous and a whore by the drag queens. My night is complete.
There is a baby in my apartment. What the fuck happened last night?
Randomize
