I had total buyers remorse when i finally got him naked. All that effort for a dude that hairy? Come on.
I just tried to light a cigarette with a tube of lipstick. If I had stayed in girl scouts maybe I could've made that happen.
I hope this adventure ends at a hospital
This whole situation could've been avoided if you would've just let me open the beer
I think that's the first time I've heard someone say "this is the safest way of doing things" while holding half a gallon of jagermeister
We're having a serious conversation and I just responded to something he said with an emoticon. I am so baked.
A guy in a banana suit just got the whole bus to participate in a call and response version of Bohemian Rhapsody. HERO
Dude you of all people would miss her giving him a handjob in front of the whole party
I'm so happy I'm only on my second drink. That would have been the best idea ever if I was on my fifth.
I will forever remember this as The Great Jalepeno Cock Burn of 2014.
My heart wants him and my vagina wants him...to have a bigger dick.
I'm not getting off this floor. I love this floor
sober me doesnt really want him anymore, but when drunk me takes over, she might want him, and god only knows the shit that might happen with drunk me.
On the brightside we know now that empty pringle cans are accepted at mcdonalds as cups.... Screw people who judged us, we saved a buck
Do thigh high boots and a ball gag count as a costume?
Randomize
