stuffed animals make me feel really maternal.
He made me pinky-promise that he gave me an orgasm.
we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
You're barking up the wrong lesbian.
as it turns out, there is no "i was in the pool" excuse for adderall-induced shrinkage.
It's like if a cloud had tits and you laid on them.
I am just saying if Clark Kent walks into your life, you fuck him
If I'm going to risk life and limb to wear a Wings jersey to the Garden next week, the least they can do is win.
And the most would be ending up in bed with one of them.
Had to walk of shame past Westminster Abbey this morning. Pretty sure a Japanese tourist took a photo of me.
he just fluffed my hair and told me I had to dance with him because we were both gingers.
Fly, little bird! Repopulate the ginger race!
Stop jerking off to vines my recommended list on YouTube is getting weird.
It was a frighteningly large penis to say the least
I woke up naked in a tent. I was more upset that the air mattress had deflated.
we woke up when the front wall of the house caught fire.
It's magical, I'm just dancing. It's like prom but by myself and with less clothes.
Randomize
