So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
He asked to "fluff my boner.."
I totally give up. Optimus Prime just fell from the top of the Great Pyramid into the hypostyle hall at Karnak.
no, i swear. she uses a huge jagermeister flag as a sheet on her bed.
Fact: my bamboo plant has grown 2 & 1/2 inches since I started watering it with bong water
Have you ever seen a porn where they were playing bluegrass in the background?
I have got to stop getting laid on my lunch breaks. I AM SO HUNGRY RIGHT NOW.
just got the results back. i love his dick even more now i know its clean
the lady at the gas station just thanked me for wearing clothes this time... i am so confused
hotdog in my bra and i still managed to score. Got a bit freaked when he tried to eat it though. I paid 3 bucks for that fucking hotdog.
I though us hooking up in the field was your way of saying you were an outdoors person
I made out with drunk Joe Dirt and then put his mullet wig on for him. True Halloween romance.
I just had to close my blinds so my neighbors wouldn't see me drinking a beer at 9 am. GO CHIEFS!
Hot date tonight for the first time in months and I just cut my dick shaving. PRAY FOR ME.
i think if a sober person was watching us they would have not thought we were witty
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