So I said to her: one time i broke my dick and when they took off the cast i could cum across a baseball field
I am so horny I keep driving over the rumble strips... best half hour ever.
You were face down, at your computer, surrounded by beer bottles listening a bagpipes version of amazing grace.
You know... If I put the same amount of effort into school as I put into giving women orgasms I would be a Rhodes scholar
I'm not a creep or anything, just a lost soul looking for a good lay
Dude I could put my dick between the gap in her teeth.. This is the last time we are hanging out with Kentucky girls
Bachelor party turned 19 hour search and rescue in the mountains. nbd
But he does seem to be getting proper humping etiquette down. So there's progress.
Found my underwear in a solo cup. That about sums up this weekend.
That kid i sell weed to just had his mom give him a ride over here she waited in the car while he bought a bag
I woke up this morning and the lid to the back of my toilet was missing. Dahfaq do I do with this shit?
its like a catch 22, sucks that you've stopped, but its like a vagina high five
He didn't call me beautiful but he came in less than five minutes so same thing, right?
Invitations to sext will not be acknowledged until 10 a.m. EST. Thank you for your cooperation. We apologize for any inconvenience.
She yelled “outlaw country” right before we heard the police siren
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