no one is going to fuck you in a field of bunnies
Just scheduled a cocaine deal around my drug counsler appointment. Why yes, thank you, I do enjoy the irony that is my life.
You hit on the cop telling him you were celebrating the anniversary of your 21st birthday and ur boob job... That's how he got ur #
ah tequila...
things I have learned from cosmo today- 40% of guys are uncircumsized, you can have a beer facial, and i really need to get tested for std's
we just bought Vicodin from the Chinese delivery guy, this day just keeps getting better.
Ya, because touching his brother's face for 20 minutes in front of him wasn't bad enough, I also threw up in his garden and stole like 10 of his shirts before I left. But I fed his dog, so it's okay.
I remember key bumps, porn and a mom in my bed. Sums up my day.
that is an amazing summary hahaha
I think we should take up crocheing or stamp collecting....something completely lacking penises
I just made a drink so ill shit. It's goona be great. Ill tell you about it when you get here. Get pumped. For my shit.
They should just send me home - I'm literally doing nothing but watching porn and listening to pandora.
the manischevitz sangria was a big hit
She's on her period. You don't know what fear is.
I enjoy the level of friendship we have achieved until you ask me to determine what may or may not be gentile warts via iphone pic
I found a loose wire in my thermostat. Couldn't find the pliers, so I used a nipple clamp to fix it.
I am just High Enough to train A-Team of bodybuilding squirrels MMA techniques to tear you asunder. And it's not that I want to is just don't you make me do it!
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