He looked like the mexican version of Steve Carrell with a unibrow.
you dont seem to understand my overwhelming need to watch space jam right now
I think I just sold my virginity for plane tickets
I left two hundred in singles in your car sorry about the mess
I know, but I was really high and I felt like a failure dragon because I could only blow smoke, no fire.
I think i blacked out...but i remember licking your teeth
He gave me an orgasm before we even reached 2nd base, everything he did in high school is irrelevant.
New drinking game. Every time Romney and Santorum switch leads, take a shot.
....this is what your political science major is getting you?
Teaching my class, used paper clips to fix my hair. Too hungover to be a kindergarten teacher.
Just wiped the ashes off my forehead before he came over to have sex. Definitely going to hell.
I just changed all my morning alarms to wake me up with different Jesse McCartney songs telling me I'm beautiful. Would you believe I'll be 25 this year?
What's your opinion on eating ass? Just looking for a yes or no
It's the first weekend of the school year and I'm already selling stuff for booze. Need a microwave?
Wrong Cuomo but I had a dream last night in which I was very sexually attracted to Chris
Once you start using "cuddles" as a code word for sex you'll never get real cuddles again
Randomize
