Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
Fun fact of the day the average american will consume 13248 beers in their lifetime.
So for us it's double that?
Precisely.
I had five suicidal voicemails from him when I woke up this morning. They all started and ended with "DON'T FUCK MY ROOMMATES".
It was only one, it doesn't count.
it's all just a bunch of faces and i remember what the floor looked like.
Fuck winter. I had to scrape my windshield, shoeless, after the walk of shame so I could go home.
that was after you ironed the burrito. didn't leave much cheese on the ironing board though
putting weed in the twinkies box was possibly the best idea you've ever had
TOUCH YOURSELF. DO IT.
I don't think that's how you're supposed to sext
Dude he downed 9 shots of tequila, sang bohemian rhapsody with 3 randoms Wayne's world style, solo'd closing time, chased the hot bartender's dog all the way to main, tackled him, carried him back, hot bar tender hugged AND kissed him, then he does a jumping heel click and leaps into my car through the window. Next rounds free at the yeti. Needless to say your little brother is a tequila god.
Basically.
If I don't have tequila in my hand soon, I'm going to have to violate human rights laws
If you don't see me at the bar tomorrow night, I was most likely captured by the communists.
I wonder if my sister will drive me around while I do bong hits in the back seat..
You can't just drop that I might be walking into a foursome and leave it at that
My dad called me in the middle of the night, drunk on vodka, asking for references on the Irish alphabet.
She looked up and said "I like this." I asked "what do you like?" she said "penis."
Randomize
