You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
I cannot remember December 31 for the past 3 years. it might as well not even exist on my calendar anymore
just hooked up with an air force officer in a hotel room paid for by the military. i feel like i should go around thanking taxpayers for the assist.
FYI you just passed out mid-blow job. Consider this my letter of resignation.
coming from the girl bound and determined to pee in the snow
why would you restrict a girl of that
How did I end up in the pool?!
Welcome to ASU
Some girl just showed me her stretch marks
You need to get out of tn
it's not like this is the first time she's brought a guy home and I'm the one who hooks up with him
These girls just walked into this party as reverse cowgirls... Wearing cowboy clothes all backwards
Ummm so I'm at the hospital and just heard some guy get tazed......twice.
It was easier that asking where the vagina platter is.
We stopped mid-sex and both shotgunned a beer then got back to it. Is this what love feels like?
Jesus I was next level high last night having a mental epiphany about the state of Virginia
i cant hook up i'm covered in egg rolls
I am eating croutons on my bathroom floor. Are you happy?!
Randomize
