What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
Both
you could play connect the dots with the people ive fucked in this room
My 54 year old father just sent me a YouTube link on my school email titled "Walrus sucks his own dick" and then wrote in the email "I wish I were a walrus". What the fuck is wrong with my family?
Spent the last thirty minutes staring at the wall with Leah. It's definitly moving
Eventually the creepy theater major quirks will come out. Probably in bed. Like role playing as the Phantom of the Opera
I may be in pain from falling off the roof but getting to the morning roof keg was well worth it.
Balls are wasted. Waste are ballsted. Ballsd wasted
Clusterfucked is a frowned upon word in work related emails
Holy fuck, spaghetti burritos are the best idea I've ever had.
If her puking on your pool table is her sign of a good night, it's time to intervene.
From time to time I think I'm happy for a second and then I remember how a guy stopped me from giving him head on my birthday weekend.
Using a miniature baseball bat to kill a mosquito in the house may not have been the most efficient or safest way, but that thing is fucking dead. However, so are three wine glasses, a lamp, and my baseball bat privileges. Worth it.
I never actually go in the club. I get in line, hit on a chick, and convince her to come drink all she wants for free at my house.
He came so fast i dont think he got it all the way in. He apologized and gave me his favorite baseball card.
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
Randomize
