Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
You're the host. Of course you wear the diaper. It's like wearing the pants.
I googled "I hate my uterus" just to make sure I wasn't the only one.
Do you know a sam ****, im at the bar right now and lookin for some dirt on her to guilt trip her in to sex
I'm afraid my bank account can't handle syllabus week.
He kept yelling "osteoporosis" and threw milk at her because she broke her arm.
don't think this is any sort of attachment thing but if I'm going to throw up regularly at your house, I'm going to keep a tooth brush there
At least I tried to be smart when I brought the alarm clock into the bathroom just in case I fell asleep.
My Saturday dick is so much more impressive than my Tuesday dick.
She only fucks to metal. I don't know whether to marry her or run for the hills.
Apparently HR frowns upon current employees introducing themselves to the new employee as "Hi I'm sleeping with your cousin"
He was Jesus for Halloween and I definitely got on my knees and gave him praise.
He told me that if he broke my bed my bed durring sex he would take me to ikea, but only on Monday because it's all you can eat meatballs. I think I'm in love.
I opened my eyes to the dog snorting coke, I decided it was best to just close my eyes and forget what I saw
Never. No amount of alcohol could convince my brain and eye sight that it is okay to fuck him. I'd rather fuck my cousin.
Randomize
