i want to give my vagina back to god and say no thank you
I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
Sex and the city 2 and twilight getting released in the same month. God hates mankind.
Im trying to find an appropriate gift to your mom for getting both you and your sister on birth control within a week, any suggestions?
What is an appropriate "thanks for saving my life" gift? I don't have any experience with this.
So as I left the Australian's hotel room, I said "Welcome to America. You're going to do just fine here."
So I hooked up with a guy with a mustache and woke up on a dragon futon underneath a dragon yin-tang tapestry... My life is spiraling in a weird way.
I'm going through a really dark time right now
I don't want to hear it man. I just jerked it to a pic of my ex wife in a bikini. Buck up
I can smell the sangria seeping out of my pores
She looks well worn, presumably from a cavalcade of penis.
I pulled a muscle last night drunk dirty snapchatting him
Is it rude to send him a, "happy birthday, I hope you finally get an STD" text?
Pretty sure I got at least one girl to question her sexuality at the Christmas party last night
..needless to say, i got fired. But I'm in the parking lot tanning on top of your car... so its not all bad.
You wouldn't eat with utensils. You insisted on making your own spoon out of a bendy straw and staples while singing "I'm a survivor" by Destiny's Child.
Randomize
