and im sitting here waiting for them to work on my car. in a room full of men. that are too old for me. its like a sausage fest nightmare...
She wanted to watch a Baby Einstein DVD while we fucked. I'm pretty open minded but that felt a little creepy.
You have to stop getting hammered and preaching about that mission trip to Haiti.
were drug buddies, doing lines off her ass is just a bonus
But life is now good. Well, not good, good would be not wearing the penis hat with the extended family of the boy I just cheated on, but as good as it's going to get today
I had to help some 40 year old women shoot down some 21 year old who called her his "milf fantasy"
We can put you in charge of something
I can be in charge of being more wasted than anyone there so everyone feels comfortable being ridiculous
Just so you know my hand is still healing from where you drunkenly clawed me last Saturday
Please tell me I was just dreaming when I asked if I could borrow your jesus dildo
I want to sit on top of her nipple mountains and reenact the Ricola commercial.
Jk probs not coming. Tequila
He's tiny, but ripped. Like a stacked hobbit. He's going to pull our sexy, crime-fighting rickshaw.
I know it's going to be a good day because he didn't notice the bite mark on my butt.
So I got cockblocked by our relationship status last night
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
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