I hope my future cuntsucker is that tight
Was it a mistake telling him I couldn't get the abortion until I was 2 months along on the first date?
I just came to the conclusion that the most depressing part of my day is when I have to put clothes on.
My mom is wearing Ed Hardy. There aren't words.
Accidentally spilled a drink on her roommates skirt, offered to clean it, and got a blowjob out of the deal. Something went horribly right.
I was informed last night that im not allowed to pick up the bouncers and carry them around anymore. Last sat is starting to make more sense
But youre all cute and shit. Woo that cunt. And by cunt i mean strong independent woman
yeah we were the ones eating jello shots out of the back of a jeep in the bar parking lot
We used the solo cup bag for her hair tie. Desperate times call for desperate measures.
If you've ever wanted to get filthy in a Catholic church before 2 on a Wednesday, I might be your guy.
Officially crunch time. It's my last year of grad school and I've yet to get blown in a school library. The parking garage was less than a block away though.
Lift me 50ft in the air like a tow truck but with your penis
How high are you exactly
National tequila day this year falls on a Monday. I've never been more disappointed in my life.
so i realized that he's only my physical relationship and beer is my emotional relationship...
She won't let me meet her hot new boy toy just because she thinks it'll lead to us having a threesome. It's not fair. I thought we were friends...
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