420 ftw
The duggars are the reason premarital sex is ok. Because if you don't have it until marriage you have no self control when it happens. And 19 kids.
I love that we get drink and call each other crying. It's kind of our thing.
on the last problem of the exam i just drew a picture of a cat and left
so he tried marking my clit with a sharpie so he could "find it again next time".
They put me in charge of something. Why the fuck would you look at me and put me in charge of something while i'm double fisting peach mimosas at a baby shower
It must have been an amazing night, I have "my pants are responsible people" written on my pants in permanent marker.
You put me in such a good mood with that road head, I bought everyone at Hooters donuts.
My dad sent me a 10 ft beer bong and my mom sent me ideas for future careers. I'll let you guess who my favorite parent is. Also, come over tonight. and bring beers.
The picture on Facebook I was just tagged in, with the mask, that is the definition of Carmen, my drunk alter ego
Def over. He sent me a nude selfie but cropped it right above his junk. Total Silence of the Fucking lambs looking.
We just got busted fucking in the hammock by his roommate...I'm so out of here as soon as hes asleep....
She's sent me the same nudes using the same gestures and positions... It's like she has a template for her sluty-ness
If I'm legally allowed to go to jail than I should legally be allowed to tell a cop to fuck off. Basic principles.
Yea, but did you really have to throw a sandwich at him??
honestly i've never been more attracted to you than when you threw up on my floor
Randomize
