I can only speak casual parseltoungue, im not bad though. just the general, "wheres the bathroom?" "open the chamber of secrets" that type of stuff
you would have Pina Colada flavored saliva.
Corey Haim died. 80's me is so sad
the vast amounts of cleavage i'm sporting to my final says "no, I didn't study but don't worry I've got something lined up for when I don't graduate".
herpes texted me again. he says he wants my vagina.
ok we should really consider changing this guys nickname...
I think the puke all over the side of my car actually improves its appearance.
I would have rather watched a full length video of myself masturbating than heard that.
I just sent a friend request to someone saying that i was the girl he shared a fifth of jager with last week. Thats something special. He better accept.
the ladder is at the bottom of the pool
Just did a keg stand the dropped my phone in the toilet. Sorry for partying.
You did a keg stand on the toilet?!
her spring break bucket list included "break into The Swamp, blow him where Tebow has Tebowed"
Just taxi'd to the airport holding a zip lock bag of my own vomit. Bachelorette success.
Do you think you could cook pancakes while i blow you?
Stop chatting and get in the fucking car. I didn't get my asexual ass out of bed just to watch you flirt and fail with someone you're never going to see again.
NO NINJA FIGHTING AT THE GAS STATION
Randomize
