I puked in a mailbox on the way back from your house.
dude why did you let me call her?!
i told you it was a bad idea and to quote you exactly, you said "no, it's a good idea..that's what people do when they love each other." you met her 15 minutes prior to that conversation...
she was on her period so I asked if she wanted to make ass babies
By the grace of god and the ingenuity of Alexander Graham Bell, this text message is made possibe: YOU ARE A WHORE
He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
My stepdad and I just tag-team hit on a server at McDonald's. This is the man I should have grown up with.
It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true
You. Me. Frosting and a bed. Lets do this.
If you're not going to call the girls I bring around by name, at least don't call them by number. It's been cockblocking since girl #47. Dick.
I felt like in order for him to make it to mordor and destroy the ring, he'd have to make sweet sweet love to me in some form of hut or cave.
lol hangovers are for mortals.
Three times. Three times I left home yesterday in search for sex, and three times I returned un-orgasmed.
chasing tequila with frosting. best baby shower ever.
I woke up naked and alone this morning. What a life
I'm going to use this quarantine time to improve my blowjob skills.
Randomize
