hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
I made out with a fat chick last night in a hot tub... btw I am breaking up with you
but i really can't criticize. i blacked out waaaaaay ahead of schedule.
everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
Just seen on a tshirt : "fake titties taste funny"
would you kill someone to have someone deliver pancakes to you when you were high?
Chinese roommate asked me this a.m when u left if all girls here have multiple boyfriends..
You told the waitress last night "What tip bracket do I have to be in to see your boobs"
as he pulled out he yelled "no kids!" and then passed out on top of me
I lost the bet. I now have to do all chores sans clothing of any kind. I give it a week before I'm knocked up...
The psychic I saw today told me NOT to text the guy I haven't heard from yet since our first date this weekend b/c it wouldn't go anywhere...Miller light said otherwise. Miller light > Cleo
Omg last night I was giving shots out like I was the Willy Wonka of the alcohol world.
I got so drunk that I peed my bed...and all over him. The ironic thing is that he slept in his swimming trunks.
If anyone needs me I'll be in the bathtub, eating fast food and shooting straight vodka while I seriously evaluate my life choices and cry.
Validation I posted a good pic? The lonely fuckboys send out the booty call signal. Of course I answered the call; Gotham needs its hero.
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