kerrys trying to convince everyone in the bar shes a lesbian. cheers to not being the drunkest girl in the room. i probably wont piss myself tonight.
Can you still call it a wet dream if sandwiches were involved?
I passed out and woke up with my pockets full of Lucky Charms cereal and chocolate coins. Another successful St Pattys Day.
sorry we overslept. have a good day at work. p.s. thanks for making it feel like my vagina got hit by a train.
Some guy is walking around the bar with his dick out. Health code violation?
He left his own bachelor party to bring me weed. Then smoked with me. Tell me I'm not his favorite-ex-friends-with-benefits.
whatever. i almost had sex in a car with someone passed out in the back seat. phone's not my biggest worry.
Every time I think about it I can feel His toe in my mouth and I gag, I'm scarred for life.
I cnant read. Cheetos goen. Help. Grt Cheetos.
Just got into a fight with a trashcan, today is obviously not going to be my day.
Also.. The Hobbit does not look like a cartoon. We were just too fucking high.
They're fucking on the bed next to me. I took adderall and smoked so there's no fucking help for me.
Nah, i wasn't offended. Having a bridesmaid who you had had multiple threesomes with your future husband would be weird.
I'm in love. Her name is Jamie. She's beautiful. She punched me in the face.
It is like...the most transformative hard on I have ever had.
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