is it wrong that i plan on stealing a few pipecleaners from my preschool classroom to clean my bowl?
i'm at the point now where i want him to say anything. even an apology for his boomerang-shaped penis would be nicer than no comment.
mom asked me why i'm never sober at family events, i told her i learned it from her.
just found glitter in my belly button...seriously when will this nightmare end
I woke up locked in the bar...this has redefined partying.
I'm sure I'm not the FIRST newly single girl to table dance at a family restaurant.
If you ever find a dick that big chop it off and bring it to me.
I fell asleep while we were Skyping and woke up to his balls bouncing in front of the camera while he sang "Wakey Wakey!" over and over again. Merryfuckingchristmas.
I am wrecking havoc on the skinny girls by going home with the big one. She is taking me to see her dog now.
ur not supposed to find someone to make out with when ur bf takes u to his SISTERS house to hang out with her and her husband
...im seriously confused as to why this doesn't make sense to you. Girl hostage, rob casino. Makes perfect sense.
we didnt plan anything. just randomly met up in the park, both reached into our pockets and each lit up a joint without exchanging words. we're telepathic potheads.
So basically I really like drugs AND banging cops and it's starting to get complicated
I just wrote a self loathing message to self, wrapped my credit card in it, put it in an envelope, sealed it with another hate messame, and put it in my lock box. So. That's where I'm at.
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
Randomize
