I woke up this morning in your mom's car... any ideas?
I just took a dump by candlelight. I feel like a pilgrim.
ONE NIGHT STAND. You have 27 minutes before the offer expires, so I suggest you hurry.
Hooking up with him would mean my type has officially become... drug dealer.
Let's play a little game of "Last Night Never Happened"
See what happens chris. I told u not to invite her over. Now shes on her way to jail and were stuck with two pomeranians.
I don't even know if I LIKE sober sex any more.
Instead of a hangover my body just feels like shame
That is a hangover
I would prefer a headache
She's in the hospital because she tried to steal a toilet seat from an outhouse and fell off the bank. We're gonna hang the toilet seat by the pool.
i'm sad to say... seems like women around here set up their armageddon booty calls ahead of time. wanna fill all these condoms with tequila and head downtown???
He lives 20 minutes away driving distance and decided to walk. I talked to him today and he took a nap along the way... In a cemetery.
I never thought I'd end up with a prison pen pal through tinder
I lost my wolf penis dildo in my garage. I should probably find it before I resume my garage sale tomorrow...
yeah....try hearing them in person. it sounds like two muppets going at it
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
Randomize
