He's married, but his wife isn't my neighbor so I don't feel bad about coveting him.
Do you ever close your eyes when your having sex with your girlfriend and pretend she didn't get fat after high school?
coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
Your doorknob is in my back seat, in case you were looking for it.
As i was blowing him Silent Night came on his iTunes. I said "it isn't christmas" and he moans "yeah it is."
we did shots in class this morning as part of a presentation. WHY AM I LEAVING THIS COUNTRY?!
She is screaming bc she thinks you jumped out the window...please show her you just went out for a smoke
Normally this is when girls give blow jobs. That's how you mentally condition them to put up with PMSing, because they see the shinny blowjob light at the end of the tunnel.
margarita monday on the first day back? my gpa is telling me noo! but my heart is telling me goo! I am conflicted..
He was like Sweeney Todd... But, without the killing people part.
So... He's a barber?
No. He's got crazy hair, and a revenge fetish. But he's hot. Does that make up for it?
Beer acquired. Food is cooking
Wow, you are almost sliding into home plate for some stellar fellatio
My mom sucked on that joint like a nipple and she was a fucking newborn
Did you really just reference your penis in a pep talk? I think I may love you more now.
Just got a blow job from a woman on a ski slope. She said ski'ing frightens her and giving head calms her down. Glad I could help ma'am!
Nana saw my nipple rings & made me watch Joel Osteen all morning
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