Dude, TWO hot chicks on jeopardy tonight. gonna be a good one
Dude, I am so turned on right now. Hot chick with glasses from brooklyn is absolutely crushing right now, taking whole categories. might beat off to jeapordy...
do another line during during the commercial and make the magic happen during double jeopardy.
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
Well, at first I was really confused. But then I realized that he was talking from his penis's perspective... in third person.
i offered her breakfast shots. she politely declined.
she was puking red wine out the car window, telling me about how shes joining weight watchers tomorrow, not okay.
As long as he sees me topless I don't care. Redemption. REEEDDDEMMMPPPTTIIIOOONNNNN
I find out next week of the Australian was lying about his vasectomy or not. Keep your fingers crossed!
Thanks for the morning blowjob. Scientifically proven you can't have a bad day if it starts with a blowjob.
On my way to get pizza I followed a dog into Salvation Army where I was just hired
I'm pretty sure I imagined the dog... They still hired me
I'm scared to touch anything in this apartment. Even the ceiling.
Growing a beard is gonna make smoking a pipe look so much more majestic
I asked my boyfriend if he wanted a bong for his birthday but he instead asked for corndogs
the cheaper the better
She invited us over for cocaine and donuts
I don't think he liked your vagina hand signal
I just want to see you and express my feelings in a drunken manner, but in a sweet way like my english accent.
Randomize
