i am a beautiful darrk chocolate womann
honey you're def caucasian
i am a beautiful white cholcllate woman.... Z
Okay call me later ill be watching lifetime and scrubbing throw up off my feet
How do you get a cum stain out of a trampoline?
there r dinosaurs outside my house i hear them
pretty sure those are just snow plows....go back to bed
I just ran up four flights of stairs in heels, im getting an orgasm tonite.
So when I got her home I realized being a lesbian again isn't like riding a bike...
its official. the only way for my hair to look good is to blow somebody
Not sure if he was actually hot or hot in a "he brought a live chicken to the party" kinda way but I got his # regardless
I want to figure out a way to work "if you suddenly die, I might turn into an extreme hoarders" into my valentines day poem
I'm doing the Macarena naked in my living room right now
I see you're taking unemployment seriously.
I apparently made a "health and fitness" subcatagory called "drugs" on mint at some point. I used it to catagorize all of my nyc atm withdrawls for $60 haha
She sent me nudes via email. What the fuck are we still in the 90s? Grow up
Definitely woke up.this morning to a random girls head in my toilet and her mom knocking on my door.
Last night was fun. Sorry I slipped out before you woke up
Also, your parents get up REALLY early. Please thank them for the bagel and travel mug of coffee. Happy Thanksgiving!
You ever have a fart follow you around?
Randomize
