My sis friend said it was fake then described it as "scary"...greatest adj ever applied to my dick
Turns out drinking large amounts of Gentleman Jack does NOT turn you into a Gentleman -- quite the opposite actually.
I got drunk and threw up on a kid at the amusement park. I think they're pressing charges.
i had to get the starbucks manager to open the bathroom door for me...you passed out on the floor, the things i do for you
Btw, I'm creating an event on fb to celebrate the one yr anniversary since we went to jail.
Yeah he gave the rest of the brownies to the bouncer that took his fake
hold on, were in the kitchen painting a yellow brick road to my vagina on my leg with black light paint.
I lost track of him after he threw the handful of pennies at the 2 female cops and ran into the darkness. I heard a tazer and a scream. All that is left is his flip flop. Its like hes drunken man-derella.
I couldn't get past the raccoon on my porch so i slept on my lawn.
This guy punched out a light, puked in the sink, stole the mailbox, then tried to tell ME that I had to leave the party... Then his dog shit on the floor.
I've been here 20 minutes and a sweaty naked man has kissed me on the cheek.
I feel like I was playing penis roulette last night nd I landed on the wrong one.
All I know is if i get a free preview weekend of HBO then I am recording Kindergarten Cop.
I'm never celebrating Galentine's Day again. It was a whorrific mess.
I woke up and there is a small Irish man playing call of duty in my room. Discuss.
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