Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
Wtf. Who made this Big Mac, Helen Keller?
No. Please No. At first it was cool when you started bring an extra girl home for me but after 2 cycles of clap medicine I'm putting an end to it.
I Apparently saved a picture of the Eiffel tower in between 2 pics of his dick. It appears to be the same size. I fucking love Paris.
Theres a fat guy wearing a speedo. Someone just got puked on, and didnt even react. Whats happening?
hey, its the girl who gave you a bloody nose and paid you back with a blow job. have you seen my shoes?
I don't even want to think about the kind of person who would shit in the street before 10pm on a Sunday.
WHO JUST REMOVED THAT SAME BOARD IN TWO MINUTES FLAT WITH NO INJURIES, SHOES, SOCKS, OR BRA?! THIS BITCH. CRACKIN A BEER FOR DA SHOWA. BITCHES AIN'T SHIT MOTHAFUCKA
I just had the weirdest moment. Made eye contact at the bar with a girl who has seen my vagina.
How are you getting in?
I know some influential drag queens
Ps I think male models just broke down outside or maybe gay German sex travelers
You told the guy in Wawa you needed his hoagie for "a scavenger hunt" and then called him a "fuckstained Muggle" when he didn't give it to you. You are a delight.
I feel like dick that good should always be within a five kilometre radius of me.
Your grandma changed her Netflix password :(
I just slept for fifteen hours straight. It's like my body knows i'm drinking with you and is preparing..
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