Good. You are like the clit whisperer.
when your english prof writes "this was a real good paper" on your essay, you know you're at the wrong college
once the tequila comes in everyone elses feelings go out the window.
Well i then put my mattress in my closet and am currently on it. This is a new one.
Just finished texting the 27th male name in my phone that i don't recognize. none of them were the hott kid i made out with last night. the search continues.
The pet store wouldn't sell us fish because they said they could tell we were drunk.
shattered his nose in 8 pieces. Blaming it on the dog. I feel more guilty about ruining the dog's good name than I do about ruining his nose.
I got a Luke Skywalker costume so I can go do battle with the homeless guy who plays the fiddle dressed as Darth Vader downtown.
I maybe just had sex outside in broad daylight. At a state park. Please be proud.
Houston, we have a squirter
I won't drink with you again until you promise to not feed me anymore paper bags
Almost just stuck my dick in my bong for no reason
also had sex in his sister's princess style bunk bed.
but you are a princess that one was appropriate.
You told me you were trying to learn all the MLB ballparks while you waited for your porn to load.
when part of the plan includes getting high, i usually forget how the rest of the plan goes.
Randomize
