I would go down on you faster than GM stock
Wake and baked to watch the boston marathon. God I love massachusetts
It's not my theme song, it's my blowjob song. There's a difference.
I think throwing up in my her purse is probably why we broke up
AND OMG I HOPE YOU ARE GREAT WITH CHILD. COOK THAT BUN!
Around noon tomorrow come looking for me. I'll be on Mill wearing whatever clothes I haven't lost yet. DO NOT REPLY. DO NOT ASK QUESTIONS. JUST DO IT.
You kept showing everyone at the bar your bra to prove it matched your shoes.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
For future reference.... When you take a beer out of a 6pack... You don't insert your phone as a substitute.
They live across the street from a school baseball field so they have porter potties across the street and let's just say that I'm grateful they exist
I'm eating taquitos in the bathtub at 5:30 am. What a great end to the night
I've got 3 hot dudes surrounding me. It's the Bermudick Triangle.
I think him and kristen are pretty serious now.. I dont think he cheats on her, anymore.
At least they took the pillow of my bed before they had sex. My friends are so polite.
So I just accidentally joined a bar crawl and got a free shotski of Jameson. I love life.
Randomize
