Dude i dont know how people can complain that waterboarding is such a bad thing. I just sat through a fucking puddle of mudd show. Now thats torture
why was he too nerdy?
he was a tetris block for halloween
You stressed the importance of not breaking the seal too early... and then proceeded to piss your pants when you sneezed.
Walk of Shame'd halfway down a mountain, skiiers passing. Do not drink with lifties at the end of ski season.
There's always time for handjobs
i just thought that perhaps i was done with the "boning on someone else's futon" stage of my life. guess not.
Dude, you were so wasted she couldn't wait. She was grinding your face while you were passed out in the yard.
A girl just asked me if we had pregnancy tests and a coworker had to stop me from telling her I was a pregnancy test. THAT is why I don't drink at work.
The DJ was throwing glowsticks into the crowd and managed to smack one guy in the face with them
strip vodka pong is never a good idea. I saw into his colon when he picked up the ball off the floor
I woke up to him "wax on, wax off"-ing my boobs. I just reminded myself that I love him and let it happen.
I'm sure there are thousands getting dick today in the name of independence
I touched the butt once. 'Twas an experience with the greatness of legend. So I touched it once more.
Costco (TM). Making alcoholism affordable!
What are you bringing to class tomorrow?
sorrow
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