youre lurking in front of me
She needs to learn what's it like to have sex with someone and regret it the next day.
I woke up on the stairs at of a Disneyland hotel. Yes, my night was amazing.
So the bros are yelling at another bro to get that dildo off the roof. And there is indeed a dildo looking object on the roof.
So I totally just remembered that you tried to smoke a hornet out of it's nest.
Hangover Status: I've been bedridden longer than that kid from The Secret Garden. It's not looking good.
he's hot he just has too much baggage, and has really fucking skinny ankles which freaks me out
you aren't having sex with his ankles, As long as knee caps and above are good, i'd go for it
I came out, you were peeing on the car and when I asked why you said it deserved it because its a rental
About to go out with the girl of my dreams tonight. I am looking at one of her hottest fb pics, to practice not looking at her huge tits.
The ketchup exploded, and totally splooged his face and the wall. You could see the outline of his head in the wall splatter.
This guy smelled his armpits before trying to approach me at the bar
Im going to the gym...covered in the Brazilians cum
And how is that different than any other weeknight in your world
Having Father’s Day on Pride weekend is always so awkward. “Hey dad just calling to say I love you.” While I’m navigating my way through a pop up pool at a bar riding a penis floatie. Happy Father’s Day.
What does it mean when the bartender gives you 4 straws?
Left my wallet at the store. Wouldn't have noticed if the joint I just rolled wasn't in it.
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