ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
turns out a healthy dose of cleavage is the equivalent of a swig of felix felicis
I did that thing again where I get way too drunk and go gay. Then wake up in the morning and freak out at the person. Yet another bar I cannot go back to
Idk how she did it. Either she watches freakier porn than I do, or I really need to go get tested.
Its not monday til someone throws up in the hallway
thought the power was flickering out but it turns out im just blinking
Hes pre-made beer lollipops so he "can suck before the sex" QUOTE!
multitasking: i'm now sitting up and smoking my joint.
What! You have to go to class. Otherwise, you're wasting money that could have been spent on weed. Gotta get that shit in perspective.
You were laying in a hotel bed drinking beer from a straw while you demanded everyone to kiss your foot tattoo.
We probably shouldn't have humped each other in a stairwell for an hour. that was probably my bad
My shower turned into a bath, turned into me lying on the shower floor with the water running over me... That hung over..
so on the street and some kid is chanting "cheeseburger, cheeseburger, cheeseburger!" while pumping his fist in the air. i agree.
What's the point of having a gay best friend if he doesn't play with your titties?
So I guess I walked across campus with "pat my ass" in sharpie on my forehead.
You deserve it, you colossal cock block.
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