There was a fist fight in my basement last night at four in the morning, in case you were wondering
we are all sexual creatures
yea maybe. but you're not. you're not getting any.
the pool opens at 11. by 1115 the ambulance had been called.
so i walk in and shes blowing her vag with a hair dryer. so i asked what she was doing, she said heating up supper.. come eat ;)
i'm so jealous of you right now.
The police scanner is talking about you again....
do you think you could subtly ask him about the dimensions of his penis?
My professors need to stop cancelling class. Bad things happen when I have too much free time on my hands. Bad things.
I think I fixed my testicle. That's why I didnt pay $25 for a doctor to do it
Well, I've taken the art of car peeing to new heights
And by go well you mean everyone's hammered right?
Yupp. And someone's bleeding
Yes. Amanda is the only option and I want cake so I can sacrifice my vagina.
No shame December is a go.
Why are there four guys spooning on the living room floor?
They're still there? Shit. They were supposed to leave after they hugged it out.
I just paid my school fees like a real adult who doesn't get accidentally drunk on a Tuesday night
You might see me up a tree with a deranged look in my eye , just walk away at that point
Well, I was arguably the most sober adult in the house by 1 in the afternoon, so I'd say Superbowl Shitshow was a success.
Randomize
