just saw a girl throwing up in a taco bell nacho cantainor going 60 down the highway
I have never pre-planed for a better sober morning than lacing my muffin batch with tylenol.
Puked in a plastic neiman Marcus bag while driving. My biggest accomplishment yet
Dude, she uses Old Spice. It smelled like I was eating out my grandfather.
but he used his one phone call to call mom and wish her happy mothers day, that's gotta count for somethin
i talked to you about this last night, and you kept saying "he wants yo pusssaayyyyyy"
You were talking about masturbating on the phone then said you had to go because golden girls was on then you called me back saying you seen that episode already.
I still have a scar from the last time she gave me a handjob. There is NO WAY i'll stick my dick anywhere near her again
Don't patronize me, I thought of that on peyote, so it was basically like a message from God.
The fact that it was "anything but a cup" now explains the cowboy boots and fishbowl aftermath at the apartment.
I'm only bisexual one week out of the month. Nothing like ovulation hormones to make the genders of my hookups seem completely irrelevant.
But no. So do not give him one damn penny. Unless they are in a sock and you are hitting him with it.
Just so you know, it is really hard to rehydrate when everything is spiked with everclear.
I just timed my pee with a stop watch. From when the main stream started to ended. It was 45.1 seconds. This is the truth trust me.
I dont know. He's too private. After you fuck him find out his secrets.
Randomize
