the chick doesn't look like she's put anything in her mouth for weeks other than his dick.
How are you going to pay for strippers in Vegas when you were just begging for McDoubles?
We just used hot candle wax from our joint lighting candle to make a bunch of new small ones how stoned are we
there were at least 5 of us standing around the bathroom stall cheering you on to throw up.
If your pregnant with his baby maybe we can start getting weed for free.
Yeah, my mom walked in on us. Instead of yelling, she went and hid in the bathroom til we finished. It was pretty classy.
Just walked in on my older brother getting a bj. He told the girl to "keep going" and then attempted to high five me
One thing noone tells you about getting put in the drunk tank is do it barefoot. You get free flipflops.
We realized tonight that we have to get advice about guys from you because you're our only straight male friend that neither of us has slept with.
Passed out mid cig in bed last night. Thank you cough for allowing me legal prescription hydrocodone.
Get here, there are important joints to be smoked and pies to be eaten
So your bra was hanging in the Christmas tree last night at some point I think
I found one of those wine glass confetti bits in my ass crack.
How do I figure out the name of this sleeping naked guy in my bed?
I really wish you were home bc youre the only friend I could ask to use an at home waxing kit on my vagina. I need you.
Randomize
