we're blogging at a bar
You're completely useless in the revolution.
I just woke up to a lawnchair covered in lipstick. I'm wearing red lipstick. What happened and is the tequila?
just cuze she's 16 doesn't mean it's illegal to add her on facebook
My mom just told me to drench my entire body in vodka for 20 minutes. I have never been this russian. no one has ever been this russian
How many times can I tell him I wasnt expecting sex before he realizes I'm just too lazy to shave all the time?
Let me just say....i'm sorry about setting your carpet on fire. I had no idea that the paper towel would burn that quickly.
We just had father kitten bonding time .. I was on the toilet , he was climbing the animal print shower curtain . It was magical
It's 6 am, I'm drunk, and celebrating the end of finals.Go ahead and ask me where I am...if you guessed a McDonald's playpen then you are correct. Badabababa I'm loving it
Just visited the liquor store.... for the 4th time today. shits gonna get weird
I'm not drunk because I think my blood just is alcohol from last night so being drunk is sober. If that makes sense
I am drinking green tea.... My liver is in shock
U touched your head and and said "oh look blood" and then looked at me and touched my face... And said war paint
You must take up my position now. You must pass out in awkward places as I taught you... Sears a hotel elevator and Burger King bathroom. You potential for greater young grasshopper.
You told your boyfriend he needed to fuck you in the tree because it would make you guys one with nature.
Did he?
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