I'm starting a business if you want to get involved
oh boy
Its called Cut N Tugs, haircuts with happy endings
He moved away. I mourned his dick all of Sunday. I feel a little better now.
his mom called while we were having sex and asked if we could finish in his brothers room because her ceiling fan was about to fall on her bed
She's trying to master eating with her feet. She said it was be she "always has to be prepared."
There's a big hole in the wall at the dining hall. I hope we didn't do
hungover subway ride filled with german tourists and a mariachi band. too early. too fuckin early
It's like a challenge who can be the biggest embarrassment to the family. I win 80% of the time.
the lesbians just got naked and went into the ocean... this never happened when i was a camper.
My gyno overestimated by 3 TIMES the amount of sex we have per week. First of all, he must think I'm a freak. Secondly, I think we should catch up.
So you are wearing a heart monitor while drinking?
Yea, they said carry on with my everyday activity.
I want to show up to tomorrow's study group looking like I got hit by a train. A train made of dicks.
The annual Father's Day Wake and Bake has been canceled due to lack of hustle.
After we banged he volunteered to ducksit while I went to work. I think that's true love.
He KNOWS ALL THE WORDS TO "JESUS IS MY FRIEND", I swear if he even tries to pull shit with me I'm becoming an actual nun.
I mean, it's good for a lot of things. Just not the inside of your vagina
Well neither is bbq sauce but I dont judge kinks
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