I CAN MOONWALK!
i had a dream that your penis turned into a long neck dinosaur
did it start talking like on Land before time?
anyone who has a picture of a ferrari with the caption "mAh DreAM caR" is getting denied as my facebook friend.
just overheard a conversation that ended in "and that's what I learned in France" How could that not have been about sex
So somehow I got from NYC to a suburban town in the middle of Jersey. At 4am. Thank god there are trains that can rectify my mistakes...
your dad just showed up on the golfcart with a keg. i. love. our. neighborhood.
I know he gets bloody noses a lot...so that explains all the blood...but I'd say the condoms are definitely from a penis.
i really regret not blowing your cousin before he went to jail
after tonight, seriously nothing could taste better than toothpaste
please tell me we weren't that bad as freshmen
i can't, we're worse now
I fingered myself to realization that I don't need birth control if there is never a guy.
I had to write an apology letter to my roomate for hotboxing in our bathroom. What a bitch.
I almost forgot to feel shameful, if that answers your question.
I just traded sex to frolic with a box of husky puppies. Is this rock bottom?
She showed up at 4:30 in the morning HAMMERED, stripped, demanded sex, then after 4 failed attempts stopped me mid-thrust to tell me she thought we should be fucking for a cause, like animal rights. Process that for a second. She wanted us to be fucking for animal rights.
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