He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
Is it standard protocol to defriend someone after they give you chlamydia?
I dk what to do with this kid he is like legitimately interested in my life.
she said if I bought her franzia she would blow me, and she would fuck me if I splurged on martini and rossi. Franzia it is
He may or may not be blacked out. We put him to sleep in the community bathroom. He's wrapped in your blanket and he's already puked on it twice. Using your blanket was my idea. Maybe next time you'll ask before taking my vodka.
We invented "Diesel Bombs." They're supposed to be a bomb, but they come in a 20+ oz. glass and have a blackout record of 6 wins and 0 losses. Undoubtedly going to be the next Muhammed Ali of the drinking world.
I am VERY upset that you called my fiesta a waste of time.
Got home to the hotel 3hrs ago per texts sent not in english to not a full phone number
There is nothing quite so pathetic as sitting in bed in your underwear eating easy mac in complete silence, waiting for Netflix to load
You suck at answering, but you did manage to avoid a fun conversation about hemorrhoids. So maybe you're great at answering.
I just told my mother my "if there are drugs I'm only taking them if I don't have to pay" rule and witnessed her perception of my shatter and crumble behind her eyes.
He went to cum on my stomach and somehow it got behind my ear. He's like a fucking jizz Houdini.
I haven't even sucked a boob is 6 weeks I hate not college
three of my fingers are bleeding and the only thing on my phone rn is a google search of 'Allison Janney'
Just remembered that I got laid thanks to my glow in the dark Batman belt buckle. Need to wear it more often.
Randomize
