What's the point in getting all dressed up and going when i'm just gonna throw up on myself by midnight?
he's sitting on top of the fridge in only a black speedo and wont get down
to cover up your slurred speech you tried talking like the creepy old man from family guy
I should just tell him this. He doesn't need to be all nice and ask me on dates and to do gay stuff like hangout during the day. I'll still sleep with him regardless.
sometimes i wish i was a boob, they get to chill in soft and cuddly little cup things.
He was drinking wine out of a pyrex measuring cup at two in the afternoon and told me my ass looked fantastic in my sweatpants. I love university
FYI...Jose likes Shamrock shakes better than Jack
The bar has bullet holes in the ceiling, and the country singer had been playing drunken weezer covers. A man just bought me a beer on the grounds that I 'have his back' in a fist fight with a stranger texan. And, yes, the bartender is wearing a sherif's badge
I blew him while watching the aristocats. There were singing cats in the background. I think he he hummed along at one point.
Somebody really needs to come home and pick up the used condom from the middle of the wood room floor. It's blue, if that helps decide who comes - uh, home.
There is a time and place for BDSM, in-between disney sing-alongs is not one of them.
then you dropped a clam in a draught beer like it was a drop shot and and started chugging as beer spewed all over your body.
I came back from England with a face tattoo and the only thing anyone can talk about is my beard.
I need something that says "I'm gay sometimes but I feel scorned by my straight, non-committal lover, so I'm here to get drunk and make out, and possibly end up in a bathroom with someone who's name I won't remember tomorrow"
She made kool-aid with tequila instead of water and rolled a blunt about the size of an Oscar Mayer hot dog. Best blind date I've ever had. I think I will love her tell my dieing day!
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