Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
I'm drinking keystone with a homeless man I found. It's making me feel uncomfortable.
You know you had good weekend wheb we you hook up with three different girls and you don't feel no pain when u pee in the morning
I made popcorn. Partly so the room doesn't smell like sex, and partly to apologize for the things you saw when you walked in...
I was too sleepy and drunk to verbally annihilate anyone and ruin their reason for being. So i just opted to sleep with the fitted sheet on the floor
fat people need to stop using the handicapped bathroom stall so I can have sex in it. it's common logic
she asked me where ive been her entire life and the guy in the room next to us yelled "with other women bitch!"
This girl ordered Hershey syrup and red wine and he made it for her
He invited me over for shower sex and pizza. Officially the best booty call relationship around.
I just wanna say I did some math and I lasted 1,052,000 more minutes than you at the bar before I got kicked out. That's 729 days. Bitch
It's fun yes. But hard on the body. I woke up with her purse, socks and one of her shoes in my room. The other shoe was outside. What the fuck were we doing last night?
I think it's safe to assume that dad heard you lose your lesbian virginity last night
No dude. I can't think of anything LESS sexy than yodeling
No,she came up with a new game: "Where is the most interesting place I can show Drew my asshole?"
We keep making plans but he keeps getting arrested. Such a tease
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