Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
This is worse that I thought. He's playing violin for me.
Does your throat ever get sore from being choked too hard or do u think I'm just getting sick??
Hhahaha he is. Omg the new polish friend just took his pants off in front of me. There is something wrong with this nationality.
Bjs on a first date are the gateway to getting to know someone for who they really are.
You are literally throwing a tangerine right now. Beer pong is not played this way
We interrupt your regularly scheduled Saturday morning programming with this important announcement: you are not the father. I repeat not the father. Congratulations and have a nice day.
We weren't even through customs yet, and we got offered weed. You would love Jamaica.
I was grossed out that all their candles smelled like vagina and then I remembered where my fingers had been.
I have what looks like a rubber stamp mark on my cock from last night that says "Magic Marla Approved" Do we know a Marla?
I appreciate alcohol much more now that I have to be sober sometimes
I don't know if dry shampoo will fix the decisions we made last night.
I gave up great shower sex to be here so don't say I never did anything for our friendship.
Roomies told me I showed up to my house alone with no pants on and burrs in my hair... I live in the middle of the city
If I stopped mid-sex because the guy was hung like a light switch, it doesn't count, does it? Like the five second rule.
Randomize
