I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
:O -> O: ... that's emoticon for "he threw up in my mouth while we were making out"
stop bragging. last time i got laid i got double pink eye, and it was so not worth it
Between the uncertainly of my bowels today, and the distance the bar is to my house, remember I am doing this for you and our mutual appreciation of alcoholism.
I'm not going to be your wingman while you are in the hospital.
last night on the strip the guy screamed at you YOU GOTTA WORK ON YOUR CALVES.
I'm gonna chug this bud light an might injure this high school penis, like I'm 17 again
Also, it was so cold in that bathroom that I saw my crap steaming, a first in my life
I'm tempted to randomly yell out 'SO HOW IS YOUR UNDERAGE GIRLFRIEND' but that would be callous
tell your brother to quit sending me his dick pics what am i going to do with them print them out and shove them up my ass???
The struggle bus has heated seats and stops at Dunkin on Friday mornings so I'll be okay.
I think you are severely overestimating being able to get your lingerie back by posting the lyrics of Irreplaceable
There's a baby in the strip club. I say again: THERE'S A BABY IN THE STRIP CLUB
Haha just talked to the dude you bit on Thursday. He has been growing a beard to hide the bruising....
You'd be proud...I've an early morning wake up booty call...he should be here around 6am ish...I told him to wake me nicely.
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