i'm touring the leper colony via mapquest street view so we dont have to go there
i dont care that its taken 20 hrs to pee without hurting, BEST HATE SEX EVER.
But sometimes ur dick treats me better than u do
Shit sorry. Maybe I wont give you this sweet ass fanny pack I found in my parents attic
Saved By The Bell: The College Years had it waaaay wrong on that one.
I really need to find better places to throw up. I would like to be able to use the bathroom sink the next morning for brushing my teeth
This is the most scared i've been of my hands since i did shrooms.
He's currently surrounded by roughly 23 girls he fucked and never called. He may not make it out of here. Bar of doom? Or of redemption?
Remember camping when you drank 36 beers to yourself in one day and puked in your tent? Ready for round 2?
Straight guys just can't stay away. My penis must have pheromones or something.
I was worried he'd break you after the hiatus your lady parts had to take from social interaction.
I woke up without my clothes on covered up with a towel on the floor because for some reason I took a bath in my clothes at 2am.
If you get any calls give me a heads up. Im drinking rum in my underwear on the back porch.
I know I'm high, but the dude in target definitely just told me that it's best to walk through every door in life like you're a t-rex....
OK, but next time I'd like to be present for our make-up sex.
Randomize
