Just saw an old lady trip and stumble. Laughed. Kept Driving. I'm going to hell.
The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?
on the way home the dog started throwing up her bone in the car..so naturally i started to puke too
He wasn't eating out, he was performing a hysterectomy without a license....should I be worried about my future family?
My garbage can has nothing in it besides condoms and candy wrappers. That's good garbage.
Vom Wallet is no more. We now boldly enter a responsible, adult era where we will not throw up liquor onto ourselves.
You're too morally constrained. I firmly believe that you should be less concerned with how young she is and more excited by the fact that she's not jailbait by virtue of a legal technicality.
So he just rolled you off his dick and fell on the floor?
It is a bad day indeed when you learn that your boy toy looks better in your dresses than you do
Successful first night. Lost my phone. Front desk found it. Earthquake in wine country. Didn't feel it.
I need a life alert for his random dick pics. My heart can't handle that.
See, this is why we give you shit. Ashley gets her car cleaned out, I get multiple enchiladas made, and you get cum in your eye.
It's a sad day when a deadly hurricane headed your way is less depressing than your relationship status.
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Magyver!
She started crying, nearly punched a guy, started smoking multiple cigarets backwards and broke the slide on her bong. Why do I always end up babysitting the crazy ones?
Randomize