She looked like cheddar but tasted like limburger...
Idk if this white stuff in my shower is conditioner or... something else?
as i creep her facebook pics from back in the day till now, i noticed that her lazy eye has gotten better
Just saw Youth in Revolt. There are only so many times Michael Cera can lose his virginity.
he just made me youtube cheetahs running and he thinks he is in a pool
He was just laying on the stairs and then screamed, "Is that a clubhouse?" I haven't seen him since
my vagina is starting to think like a penis, and I'm not even slightly worried
I think the worst was the guy who sent me YouTube videos about how age doesn't matter, and then a link for natural breast enhancements. Kill me.
I thought we were but then I freaked myself out. So I kind of geared him up for take off and then cancelled the launch
Its 8 in the morning and I wouldn't pass a breathalyzer test, How's your day been?
I am seriously only coming over if there are McNuggets. I want 10 bitch. Honey mustard.
You know you're high when, "Why can't I steal the duck?!" Becomes a serious question.
I don't even care that it's before church. I feel like God actually wants me to have this shower beer.
I don't know which is worse, the fact that his name is Kevin or the fact that he has a pornstache.
His dick is pure magic - dark, powerful, beautiful magic. It's the Elder Wand of penises
Randomize
