i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
My history with restaurant waiters is severely limiting our dinner options.
Apparently 151 is to me what spinach is to popeye.
I told her i was enlisting in the air force tomorrow.....it was like the activation code to her vagina
a search helicopter?!
We are lost. Everyone is drunk and it all went downhill after we iced the bus driver.
I don't remember much but I remember it was a unanimous decision that Santa was indeed real and Cait's stripping somehow proved this.
then he tried to tell me how many times he had seen Scott's dick. his estimate was about 180 times. he thought I didn't understand.
He's talking about how great of a find these dollar store condoms were. Help.
I was just lying down, dumping goldfish into my mouth and they like all came out I thought I was going to choke and die and people would be like damn that's so sad, she died laying in bed stuffing her face and reading kanye wests twitter, damn.
Being able to fart in her presence and not be judged is why I pay half the rent.
So I was just like hi, I'm your roommate's gf. Please don't hate me. That would be rly inconvenient for you.
Dude!! Who the fuck glued Cheetos to my couch? Bastards!!
I haven't answered because I haven't figured out a polite way of saying fuck no
Being high is definitely not the perfect addition to this family dinner. No. My grandma trips me the fuck out.
Randomize
